It takes a village to raise a child is not just a cliche people say. It is true. So what do you do when you don’t have anyone else in your life? You create your village! It takes work, sure, but everything about being a single mom takes work. Where do you find these support groups for single moms? Everyone’s situation is different but we all need some help. Who knows, you could make some life long friends out of it.
I put this first because most of this country is religious in some way. Even if you are not a “go to church every sunday” kind of family, church groups have some good seeds that are really here to encourage and uplift. When I move to a new city, I find out the women’s groups and the moms groups and I attempt to make them a priority. I rarely went to church every sunday but my mom groups were where I made some great friends that I could grow with.
Don’t get discouraged if the church you think you like doesn’t have any mommy groups, call the leader of the women’s group and ask what the structure is when they meet. I have been told before that for some events I could take my children but for others it probably wouldn’t be the best because of what they are doing on that particular meet up.
Try multiple churches, you might find a group you really like even if you aren’t a part of that church. The city that I live now, I like the youth sunday school structure and the pastor is alright, so we go when we can, my teen is a part of the youth group but the only group for moms with young ones is a paid group. I have an issue with that, so I seeked out a different group with a different church. I have no problem paying for something but I am not paying a year membership when I haven’t even met anyone and I don’t particularly like the vibe I am getting from the women signing people up.
Library Story-Times or Events
These are a little difficult to meet and befriend women but it can be done! If you are consistent you will meet the same women each week, your children will play together, and things will naturally progress. Understand and remind yourself that these moms are craving friends just like you. As adults we are not taught how to make friends, we are just supposed to have them. Follow through will make all the difference in the world in these types of groups. Setting plans for lunch in the park directly after story-time or at a McDonald’s play place will be your best bet to let your relationship develop naturally.
I have had some good luck with this website honestly. The bigger the city the better these group selections are. If you live in a meduim to small city this may not work great for you, however, Facebook has some great options with the smaller cities.
These sites are literally moms looking for friends and something to do with their children just like you. You sign up (it’s free), search for the type of group you want and check out the events they are scheduling.
- mothers of little ones
- mothers of school aged children
- mothers of teens
It’s that easy.
Actually attending the group’s events is something you want to make sure you can do. The more you attend, the more people you will get to know and the more involved in the events you will naturally become. These group events make life long friends because you are both open and willing to become friends in the first place. Those awkward first steps are skipped like at the library scene.
Day Care or School
Pay attention to those around you. Smile, introduce yourself, start a little small talk. This is much easier said than done. Going to your child’s school or day care and meeting the other parents is intimidating, when you talk about their kids, however, they open up to you. Who doesn’t love talking about their child? This is a process (like the library) but you will get to know these people if you see them often. Scheduling a play date is the next natural thing.
You Can’t Choose Your Family…
But you can certainly choose your friends. It isn’t easy when you are a single mom. Creating a support system is one of the best things you can do for yourself. When I move to a new city, if I don’t throw myself into one or all of these things, I feel alone and struggle with depression and feeling overwhelmed with my children. Your village should be something you are proud of. Full of people you trust and who trust you. You will grow to love their children and feel like your family has expanded.
Trade babysitting with them, have them to your house and you go to theirs, share ideas, get creative.
- One of my friends in my village was very overwhelmed with her home. She felt burried by dirty dishes and dust and laundry (we all know that feeling). Our little group got together and organized a day that we could come over and clean for her. We brought our kids and cleaned for a couple hours to get her house to a place that she felt like she could keep up (imagine 4-5 friends coming over to clean for you just because they love you).
- I had to have surgery so I asked a friend to babysit so I could have time the rest of the day to recover. I babysat later on in return so her and her husband to go out on a few different dates.
- When I was married and our schedules overlapped and I needed someone for an hour or 2, our friends would babysit so I could get to work and I would babysit for them another time.
- When I was working overnight I would have my children sleep over at a friends house sometimes, if I had a good night I would share some money, I babysat and cleaned for them in return.
These are just a couple examples of ideas that naturally happen within your village.
Your village can be closer than your family
Trust and Trade
This will be the BEST thing you will do for yourself
Peace and Balance,