To the IMperfect mom feeling overwhelmed. Let’s vent, let’s be each other’s support. Sometimes all you need is to share your story and laugh when you find out we have all been there! Your children are normal, your struggles aren’t unique, we have had those days! Let us hear about it. Let us empathize and then tell you that you are going to be OK.
I just wanted to remind you and to remind myself that it’s OK, in fact it’s encouraged to be IMperfect.
I woke up today a little bit tired. The past few nights the little ones haven’t been letting me sleep so much. It’s allergy season and all of us are suffering which means less sleep for them and less sleep times 2 for mom. My littlest came in at 630 and was so sweet snuggling in bed… that was the end of it. Things turned sour right after that when he decided his sister (who had woken up 3 times in the night) needed to wake up and play with him. You might be thinking, that is so nice he wanted to play with his sister and couldn’t wait for her…. I’m not talking the play in the “oh, cute the kids are playing so well together quietly in their rooms” OH NO! I am talking the “He pinched me” “He hit his head on me” “She did it” kind of play. Before I get into a big long story I just want to say that this kind of day is good.
This day is a GOOD day
What is that saying? You can’t appreciate the joy without the pain? You cant rejoice in your blessings without suffering? These are your suffering times and in this will come appreciation for your blessings.
This kind of day is good because it is a test of how well you ask for help.
It is a good day becuase it shows you that you can handle much more than you thought and when the kids are grown and having kids of their own you can say I remember when… this is normal you are going to be fine.
This kind of day is good because it allows you to prioritize and not try and do everything.
Not in the way you are thinking. Yes they may earn a time out today but there is a lesson to be learned here. Teach your children that when they feel anxiety or like they are cranky, take a break. Remove yourself from a situation and breathe for a minute. Get away for a bit and come back to each other to be a happy family again. You love each other more when you take a little time away. It’s healthy and it needs to be taught for when they are in a relationship with another person (I know, I know, this wont happen until they’re 40 and you are finally ready for grandkids hehe). BONUS if they learn this and see you doing it they will have more understanding and patience for your breathing time.
The cleaning can wait until tomorrow take the kids to go do something outside the house because clearly they need time away. If you have a support, have them take one child and you take the other. If you dont, give them an individual activity away from each other.
Give them a purpose. Lay out an art project, dig in the dirt! If the kids are older give them fun chores or games to do and make it a competition or lay out a commission list of what they could do to help. Helping mom will give them a sense of accomplishment and confidence just like you need every day. We have 2 dice that we roll and a list which I will explain below. The kids love it because it is a game of chance! Who doesn’t love that?!?
I feel tired, I feel a little on edge. Coffee isn’t doing it for me today and I understand this about myself. Today I will be more aware of my actions and my feelings. I am not saying I’m not going to blow up, I will definately have a blow up! But I will know it is because of myself and not an outward force. I may not get mommy time… OR Maybe my mommy time will find me in snuggle time looking at their faces. I will find my zen one way or another.
Priorities like not getting on social media today. Like accomplishing an extra something for me so I feel better and more confident at the end of the day. Maybe I’ll read my book I haven’t picked up this week. Did you know reading is addictive just like TV or social media? Making sure my minutes are not wasted will be the key to a productive day.
I have said it before, as long as your kids know you love them, you are a good mom. You are trying, you are finding the balance. Create your zen in their little faces. Snap a pic of their fight so you can share with their future spouse. It’s a gratifying feeling when you know you have a little revenge plan brewing. Sounds awful but tell me you haven’t thought, “that one’s going in the yearbook” hehe!
Keep ya head up
There is a lot of “Maybe”s in this post. These kind of days are like that though. Get creative today. Enjoy – today is a day you will never get back. Prioritze and Accomplish. You are going to be just fine. If you love music today may be a great day for a dance party. We have music constantly in my house. YOU are in control of your day even when you feel out of control.
Find your Zen wherever it may be hiding
Love yourself today
Your kids are as perfect as you are
Creativity will save you in this game of you vs them
Roll second die
write down 6 things in each category (our task items change every few days)
Example Creative Category:
- Draw a picture of the first thing you see
- Hula Hoop a dance routine
- Minecraft (let them choose 1 or 2 things…it makes the thrill of chance that much better)
- Write a short story of your favorite character on a desert island with you
- Design a game for us to play late
- Code a new game and show it off
You do the same for the chores and I usually let them choose most of the FUN category. One time they were being really rambunctious. I got sarcastic and wrote “Lay on the floor and stare at the fan” each of them had to choose a room because I was NOT going to let them lay next to each other. They had to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling fan.
Our rule on each roll is you MUST do the thing you roll for 10 minutes. The chores change every time someone accomplishes that chore (no need to clean a bathroom twice). OR I have done it before where that number is just not active anymore and you have to roll again. You can do individual rolls or as a group or pairs or girls vs boys or whatever.
Peace and Balance to you