We all wonder am I a good mom? The fact that you are asking that would make me say an immediate “yes!” You may be feeling overwhelmed right now but if you have your children’s best interest at heart, you ARE a good mom! If you want a little something for yourself that is healthy for you and your babies! If someone is telling you that you made a wrong decision, that is their problem. Maybe you made a mistake sure, we are all human, but maybe, JUST MAYBE you are different than them and your decision was the best for YOUR family.
Greatest Piece of Advice
The Greatest piece of advice I will ever give to new moms (or experienced moms) is YOU know YOUR baby better than ANYONE else. Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever do. Making informed decisions and trusting your gut is something that no one should ever be able to take away from you. They can help you, tell you what they would do, show you the science behind the decision, but this is your child. This gift given to you so you could make the best decision for their lives until they are able to decide for themselves.
Standing up for the decision that you make is hard. It brings up a sense of pride in listening to your instinct. The more practice you have with that, the better you will become. Eventually, you will experience the “Mama Bear” come out when your baby is threatened, not physically I hope, most likely emotionally.
A kid is playing in the pool with your child and they are being rude and distructive. The other child’s mom is not paying attention at all and when she finally looks up she sees your child standing up for themselves. The mother walks over to your child and yells at her … you have a choice right then… can you tell this has happened to me?
I chose to let the mama bear loose. My mind quickly went to weighing the options. Confront the mom nicely and privately and hoping she talks to her child, let the whole situation go, OR Confront the mom in front of the kids showing my child that she does not need to take someone talking to her that way when she was only standing up for the wrong that was done to her in the first place. Added bonus she also learns that mom has her back!
Get Your ME Time
Giving you time for yourself is one of the best things you can do for your children. Whenever I feel like I am not being a good mom it is generally linked to me not feeling like my cup is full enough to be able to overflow anything to my children. You can’t give what you don’t have! It teaches them self care, it teaches them how to be a parent and have a healthy relationship with themselves, it also teaches them that mom is not their maid 24-7 and they can appreciate the time away from you.
For a quick ME time I like to take a hot shower or a bath with some kind of scent, however, I need to feel. Citrus if I need energy and lavender for a calming sensation. The bath also helps with some minor back pain I struggle with.
When You are Doubting
Whenever you start to doubt yourself think of someone whom you admire as a mother. What would she do? Ok, you are not her, but can you get close? Or even a step closer? Don’t compare yourself to others, that will drive you crazy, but you can look to someone whom you know and appreciate. They should tell you that you are doing a good job. They should show you how happy your children are and how you have been a huge factor in that for them. This feeling of insecurity is only temporary.
You Are Doing Great
You will be fine.
You will get thru this.
Peace and Balance,