This may seem too simple, but adjusting your mindset to get more ME time really does work! Time is a measurable thing but your feeling of time is not. When you feel like you have more ME time, you do. It’s as simple (and complicated) as that. Don’t worry, I am not going to get all philosophical on you.
Some days you feel overwhelmed like you can not get away from the kids to get a 2-minute bathroom break and you are going to lose your mind if you hear “mom” one more time. What is the difference between that day and the day before when you did the same thing, but you did it with a smile?
Your hormones have a lot to do with your body and how it is feeling obviously. You don’t need me to tell you that. But have you ever stopped to think about how it affects your mind? If your body is tired, your mind will try harder to do simple tasks, leaving it tired too.
Knowing and understanding your hormones’ cycle will help you know what to expect with your body and how you may feel throughout the day. I know that for the first 2 days of my menstrual cycle I need a nap and to go to bed early. 2 weeks later I know that I can conquer anything! I plan my cleaning, projects, late nights for work, etc on my up times and I allow myself to have those low times.
I used to feel bad for not getting as much done, not playing as hard, working as hard, until I figured out why I was feeling like I was…hormones! In a lot of ways it has made me more productive because I can predict how much energy I will have (or not have).
Doing Nothing IS Doing Something
Here is where I still struggle but I am getting better. When I sit down to do anything with the kids or by myself I feel like I should be cleaning, working, or studying. I recently figured out that the things I enjoy doing like reading is actually doing something productive as long as it edifies me in some way.
- Read a book (with or without the kids)
- Take a bath
- Put on an at-home mask
- Watch a movie with the kids
- Paint your daughter’s nails
- Have a race or play tag or go on a bike ride or or or…
The list is endless and the benefits are even greater. One great memory of my family as a child is sitting down to watch T.G.I.F. It was 2 hours of sitting down and doing nothing. Another memory was with my dad and brother sitting on the couch eating lemons with a little salt as my dad watched his Star Trek program (I didn’t even like Star Trek but it was his only show he watched every week that was for him).
Doing nothing is important. With kids or not, Edify your soul, your body, and your mind! Take a time out from the stereotypical productivity and do something special. You will be better for it.
This is so simple and so hard. Planning your productivity will give you more time. When I don’t plan and just try to study or work throughout the day I can not tell you what I have actually done and I end the day feeling like I have done nothing. I have actually had to look back and see how much I had accomplished that day just to be able to sleep!
When you plan time or plan goals you will give yourself a gift. You will realize how much you did and you will feel good about yourself and your accomplishments. Today I will read 2 chapters in my book and take 1 quiz, I will clean for 30 minutes total and I will work for 7 hours on specific things for my business (I keep a calendar each week for that).
When the kids interrupt I pause whichever timer I have going and I am able to give them my full attention for the time they need. I am able to eat meals with them and help them with school work being fully present through all of it. I know that my timer will still be there when I get back to my computer, those chapters will still be there, that laundry will still be there. It’s not going anywhere and it will get done. I have set the goal, the time and it will get done. I will feel accomplished. None of these things will keep me up tonight.
Do Not Compare Yourself
We all know we shouldn’t compare ourselves to other “social media perfect moms” but we do it anyway. I am not saying it won’t happen, it is human to do so. I am, however, saying catch yourself in the moment and realize that you do not know these moms completely. You do not know how perfect they actually are so do not compare yourself, your life, your home, your income to other peoples.
I have one mom friend that I grew up with. I knew her as children and we drifted apart as we became adults. I have compared her seemingly perfect life on social media to my rag-tag crew and my single-mom-hood for a while now. I knew she didn’t have a perfect life since I have known her for so long but it seemed perfect. I got sucked in, wishing I had things better like she had. I found out that she struggles with major anxiety so much so that when COVID hit, she could not leave her home. I would never swap my struggles for that.
People’s outward lives are not their inward lives. Only they know what is really going on. It is healthy to desire more and work toward it but do not wish so hard to have someone else’s life that you neglect your own.
Adjust Your Mindset
Everything I suggested above is about one simple thing. Adjust your mindset. If you feel better about you and your accomplishments you will be better and enjoy life more and more. Start with this…Quit saying “I don’t have time for…” instead figure out what you replaced that time with and see where your priorities lay now vs where you would like them to be.
We all have the same amount of time in each day. If you watch 2 hours of TV every day and then say you don’t have time to shop for or cook healthy food, you really do, you just have to adjust your mind and your time to bless your family and yourself with something that will edify them, instead of turning your brain off for 2 hours. Try it. I know your kids and you will be better for it.
Make Plans and Stick To Them
Prioritize Things That Are Actually Important To You
Celebrate Your Accomplishments
Peace and Balance,